WishList

i got sth to say!!!! erm... i had a partially amazing night last night.... well i smsed one of my colleagues last night and ask if my crush's hp is repaired... and he replied he dunno and why not i try smsing him.... and i replied maybe not today but i did sms him later in the night... so here is goes:
Crush: i'm using my brother's hp now.... so wat are u doing and where are u now?
my reply: at home writing a letter..... so where are u now? did u fetch ur gf today?
crush: who are u writing the letter to?! i'm in my frd's hse playing and i got a little quarrel with my gf....
my reply: wat sort of quarrel? writing to my boyfrd..... sending it tml... so wat are u playing?
crush: not really playing... just chatting... had a little misunderstanding.... so u have a boyfrd?! i'm serious... who are u sending the letter to?!
my reply: well... a frd who is boy.. name boyfrd... got quite alot here....
crush: so u mean frds?
myreply: boyfrd means boyfrd... so u din fetch ur gf??? bad....
after tat he din reply... i thought he is angry at me for saying him bad.... but this mroning when i sms him he said his hp low batt... so oh well... true or fake who knows? only he knows the best... yesterday when i sms him... i really want him to be jealous and i want him to know tat i am living a much much better life than he is..... somehow i feel a little victory last night.... in all the sms it doesnt show the victory.. but i feel it... lolx... but then again... i lied... i got no boyfrd now.... a lie to make me feel happy and a lie tat make me run away from reality... and this is not the kind of life i want..... oh god... let me be the dumb person just for 2 days... which is ytd and today... after this i am going to fight on...... becos i dun want things to just end it like this..... a very kind and caring frd once told me tat he can sense tat it is going to end soon and he asked if i want it to end like this... well i dun want it to end like this... i want to have a taste of victory... but i oso want to have a taste of defeat... a true and fair defeat.... tats why i chose this path... haha! my love for him is still alive and kicking hard..... and this feeling tells me tat i will only get wat i deserve if i fight on... but then i feel very tired.... the feeling for him is very tiring but why is tat so? maybe becos one sided love is always quite tiring... but i dun care! i still want to know.... find the true ans even if it means tat my change of victory is 1%!!! hahahaha!!!! (i'm going crazy soon... could someone dail the no. to mental hospital?) oh well... i guess i will stop here.... love peace no waR!