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my mindset for now

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

i have been troubled these few days over relationship stuff... i'm trying so hard to get it off my mind becos i'm having my exams... and i was quite confidence i could get A for them... but not anymore.... things have been getting into me very much lately...

after a chat with darling last night... i finally knows wat he thinks and how he feels.... for weeks he did not tell me anything... even though wat he is having for me is not 100% i still appreciate it... no doubt hearing tat it's not 100% it was very very hurting... no doubt breaking up came across my mind be4... but remembering promises tat i made.... and the feeling tat i'm having for u has always been 100%... i really cant bring the breaking up issue.... heex.... if the feeling is 90% i will work hard on the 10%.... if it's 10%... i will work hard on the 90%... i'll really work hard.... so long as u dun give up on me it means there is a chance.... when there is a chance i dun wanna it to slip it away through my hands.... not able to understand u was my fault... but i will try.... i can understand why u dun open up urself... but no worries.... i respect ur decision on who to tok to... but if one day u wanna me to listen i'll be there for u.... i wun force u to say.... but for appearance wise.... now i really dun mind wat others say abt u... but if u still cut down myself... heex~! just wanna let u know tat appearance are just primary.... wats important is our feelings.... not the outer part...

tml is automatic... and i'm not done with my theory...

writtern @Wednesday, August 30, 2006

today... is... sunday...

Sunday, August 27, 2006

today is sunday.... haaha~! so bored... when a person is single... they yearn for relationship.. and when they have relationship they are afraid to lose them... and this is the feeling tat i'm having now... i was yearning for it... i got it and now i'm afraid of losing it.... maybe becos of wat i've experienced... tats why i'm so scared of losing him... hahha~! things isnt bad for this 3 weeks.... but yeah... i dun understand him yet... and neither does he understand me too... although we can read each other's mind quite often... we both dunno wat both of us wants.... today i realised... i rather keep silent.... so long as he is happy can already.... dun feel like creating arguements... all i ever want is to have him by my side... accompany me when he is free... but sometimes he is free yet not willing to come over... if only he is much more clingy.. hahhaa... but he is not... whereas i'm being the clingy one... -_-"~!

mechanics is just this tuesday and i have not revised yet... i'm so dead.... oh no~! today i went to riverside view for a very very very very short interview..... haha~! work in a jap restaurant... one hr $7.... from 6pm to 10pm... so i only work for 4 hrs daily.... hahaha~! at least i get abit of money... T_T then i can go shopping... hahaa~! one funny thing is... usually i go someplace i nv go be4 i will drag one person along with me... but today i went alone.... asking for directions myself.... a person like me who is so dependent on others now doing this myself... is so.... different... maybe this is my 1st step of being indepedent... heex.....

writtern @Sunday, August 27, 2006

today is math

Friday, August 25, 2006

i'm going to have math exam today... from 4.30 to 6.30pm.... am i prepared??? i have been preparing since the last day of sch.... and now? i'm still not prepared... reason being... i have 3 big topics under laplace tat i dun understand and cant get the answer.... do u know how irritating it is not to get the ans when u followed the steps to do a qns? VERY! seriously... i dunno wat has gotten into me.... i cried myself to slp for 2 nights.... angry/fed up over darling for more than 2 days.... he is tired n stress i can understand... but am i not too??? i have been walking alone..... since young.... and now i tot i have someone to walk with me.... but.... i still dun feel tat i'm accompanied becos i'm still walking alone! nvm.... ya i get angry over small stuff... i'm the pity one.. so be it!!! i'm having exams n still having stupid stuff in my brain!!! i wanna die!!!!!!

writtern @Friday, August 25, 2006

friday...

Saturday, August 19, 2006

hopefully this font size wun make the whole blog go crazy again... heex~! eh...today brought laptop to sch... after breakfast feel so sleepy so i slept.. wake uo got headache so continue slping... then ak was playing with the laptop... watching show... haahah~! wat else... after tat vickie came... then she watched her "lao gong" hahaha~! well... hoped she enjoyed the show... although i went off half way...

bought fries for darling today cos i forgot to buy ytd... in the end he nv eat so i finish all.... then went to his house have dinner... her mom's cooking i must say it's nice... hahaha~! my mama can fight with her ... =X heex.... then after dinner we went to bedok to watch movie... know why? cos he wanna run away... dAnG~! bedok so so so so far.... but it's okay.... a familiar place.... went there like once a week when i was a kid? hahaha! then finish watching movie we went to geylang to eat soyabean curd.... and soyabean milk... and you tiao.... -_-"~! long time no eat... hahaha~! the last time i ate there was with mr liew.... hahaa~! then after tat another long walk to the mrt and he send me home... end of the day... i'm so beat.... 3 days 3 nights of slp pls!!!!! ahahhaa~! seriously... today's outing is enjoyable... although it's a double date and i din get to chat with the lady very much.... hahaha~

writtern @Saturday, August 19, 2006

haven been studying...

Friday, August 18, 2006

haven been studying much... know why? play too much~! hahahaha~! i'm graving for kfc since yesterday and i still din get it... how saddening... hahaha~! tml i'm going to sch to study again... hopefully i'm really going to study this time and not slp... if not ak will 100% SIAN~! heex... so sorry ya~ cos i lack of slp tats why.... hahaha~! chat too much over the phone every night... maybe i shld and must cut down the time.... lolx~! dunno wat to blog about oso... ahaha~! shall stop here..... bye bye and tc....

writtern @Friday, August 18, 2006

Borin Saturday!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Today is a very very very boring day for mi, as my mom don allow mi to go out and my friend ask mi out, i cannot play my game KH2 as my memory card n the disc is at my darling house.I hav a report to rush and i hav no idea how to do it. Today my mom cook a big pot of soup and order mi to finsh it up...sigh...

writtern @Saturday, August 12, 2006

there is a need to learn...

Friday, August 11, 2006

YO~! there really is a need for me to learn... learn wat? be organise and plan my time... family... relationship.... friends... and studies.... i am not coping well i realised..... and i deserve to fail MIS today..... really.... i do deserve it for not studying....... sigh... so tired....

writtern @Friday, August 11, 2006

fireworks!!!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

hahhaaa~! mountain tortoise went to see fireworks today... hahhaa mountain tortoise is me btw... hahaha~!

today woke up... then went to meet annie in novena mrt and then went to sch for breakfast.... hahaha~! and vickie came to join us too.... on the way to south wing of the library today... there was this discussion room inside got 1 guy and a gal smooching... and just so nice the 3 of us turn at their direction... we wouldnt have turn if the laptop was there i think... cos the room was dark but with the laptop on! hahaha~! then i almost vomitted my morning mac... hahaha~! then 11.45am i went to meet darling...... i walk up to his house by the main road and he walk down to fetch me by the shelter... hahaha~! so we missed each other so funny...... eh.... then we went to meet li chuan.... his buddy since 5 yrs old? hahaha~!

then went to eat.. buy ticket... they play billiard and pool then i just watch... din really wanna play billiard cos dunno how... pool... i dun wanna shame myself infront of ppl i dun really know... =X hahaha~! although i was tempted... hahah~! not tat i'm trying to say good stuff about my darling..... but.... i think the most admiring and attracting part of him is when he plays billiard bah..... hahha~! very serious and very cool.... hahah~!

then watched click... hilarious at the beginning... touching at the end... hahaha~! then after the show we saw a frd of them.. i dunno who.. eh... then he and li chuan wanted to play billiard... then darling and the frd's gf and i sit at the side.... sian already then darling and i went off.... train was so packed so we walked...... luckily got there in time to watch the fireworks.... it's mainly white and red... cos of the flag i guess... ahhahaa~! after the fireworks.... went to MS thru esplanade... it was so packed! anywayx... met up with li chuan, and get to see darling's 2 more buddy.... wei hong and another one forgot the name and dunno how to spell oso... hahhaa... sorry abt tat... i have a poor memory..... then they decided to go chinatown to eat dinner... walked for 45mins! tired already and so late so i nv eat.... some of us drink le then go home..... li chuan and my darling send me home 1st... then the both of them go eat at amk i think..... tats the end of the day... but i'm so darn hungry now... hahah~! rainy said she went.. but i din see her... but i saw someone's someone over there... hahaha!!!!

writtern @Wednesday, August 09, 2006

photos!!!!!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

YO~!~!~~ hahaha~! ehm... i'm gonna blog 1st.. then post same pics from and rainy's advance celebration...for rainy's there aren't many... know why? cos i din get the chance to... hahaha~!

eh... hahahaha~! very very good lately...not really tat good.. as in sweet.. hahaha~! at least wun go gloomy all day long haha.... okay~~~ then yesterday accompanied darling go eh.. forgot wats the place call... he ah.... next time memorise the route then ask me accompany u!!! hahaha~! walk so big round... hahaha.. but it's okay.. since i'm still early to go pasir ris... heex... then he accompanied me to pasir ris..... then i went to find vickie... over alight the stop tat i'm suppose to... hahaha~! then after tat had lunch then play in her hse... then rainy called... and we went to the chalet together... everyone slowly come come come.... then after tat bbq... then cut cake... then kelvin's magic show... hahaha~! today... only kenneth went... then kenneth,sam,vickie and me played bridge... so loud and rainy still can slp.... cooL~! hahaha~!... until now... i din get to go to the beach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not fair!!!!!!!!! hahaha~! then today went to meet darling at 5pm... but i was late!!! know why? cos of the soya sauce incident... hahaha~! anywayx.... enjoyed~!

1st pic is vickie and rainy... then rainy and soonkwee.. then rainy's cake.... so... maple kinda feeling... tat mushroom... hahaha~! tats all i have... so sad~~~ ahahaa~! tc~

writtern @Sunday, August 06, 2006

past few days...

Friday, August 04, 2006

see lar! stupid laptop spoiled... then wanna blog oso difficult... hahaha~! anywayx some things happened about 2 days ago? hahhaa... good things... hahhaa so far... only vickie and gang... and rainy and ak know... hahaha~! then... tats all bah..... hahhaa~!

to queen: u wanna more pics har? i upload another day k? cos i only got back my laptop today... dun have the pics... wait till i transfer the files... heex.... patience~!~!~!~

yeah~! tml rainy's chalet~!~!~!~ cant wait!!!!! so excited!!!! hahahaha~!

ehm.... tats all for today i think... heex heex...

writtern @Friday, August 04, 2006

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