Many things had happened...
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
halo! well... as u can see from the topic... many things had happened... erm.... i'm currently in indonesia... lets talk abt 1 and a half month ago... i was still in indonesia.... sort of in love with a guy... and i came back sg... i still like him... and i even wrote letters for him... at the same time my brother and i are busy finding schs in america as my dad insisted as going.... well... we were actually reluctant to go... but after thinking twice abt it we decided tat we might as well give it a try.... ok... so we found the sch we want... which was actually quite cheap compared to other schs.... my dad is a person who wants us to graduate from a university... not only a simple university... but those famous kind of university! and by tat! he shld know tat the cost is not cheap.... yet he complained expensive... my hope was crushed!.... it's like i'm in the heaven and beaten down to the hell... in chinese ppl say xi wang ye da si wang ye da.... now i really had the taste of it... it is really not gd at all... not even one bit of it is nice.... we had some chats abt the schs and stuff.... we quarrelled at home... over fones.... even when i'm outside with my frds he called me to quarrel abt it.... until one day my mom called me and i really feel sad and angry.... more of upset of cos... and the tat conversation i had with my mom while thinking abt the arguements in the past make me feel so stress and upset.... which of cos made me cry in public... well my 2 of my best frd saw it... this matter had already make me lose confidence in wat i do and the believe in my father... the speak the truth my believe in my dad was never big.... it was never deep at all... it was always swallow... but after tat case... it was really even lessen... thus being so stress... i din really have much time writing to the guy... so i thought my feelings for him is fading away..... and i realise i think abt him much much lesser....
next! few weeks ago when i was still in singapore... i realised how weird my dad had become and buying female stuff not for my mom or i.... so of cos... female instincts are the guy is seeing another woman.... so i really wanna know the truth.... i really wanna find out.... so i've decided! when my dad was in singapore i told him i wanna go back to indo to work for one more month since i got abt 1 and a half more months be4 i start sch... and the result was he indirectly rejected me by saying " wat for u come here?" my 1st thought was... maybe he dun want me to come and spend so much money again like the last 2 trips.... so i made up my mind not to bring hp and ask for any money..... but he still reject me... but i insisted and i came with my mom abt 1 week ago... when i was still in changi.... my best frd even hope i had an enjoyable trip.... and of cos not wanting to upset him i got to say i will... but deep down in my heart i know very clearly tat there will be no such thing as an enjoyable trip... and i was right... my best frd even tease me by saying " haha! u will get to see him when u go back!" at tat time... my mind was full of my family problems.... and i told my best frd i dun like him anymore... not even one bit...
then... many things happened... my mom and i found out tat the female instinct of ours are right.... every yr....... we were right.... there is so much for me to say... i'm just so tired to tok abt it.... it hurts so much.... even my grandma was pulled into this complicated and disgusting matter.... and i realise how weak i am... tears just keep flowing out when ever my parents quarrel... when ever my grandma tok to me... and i oso realise how dumb i am thinking tat i dun like tat guy anymore too... i'm wrong... i still like tat guy..... i admit tat i dun think abt him tat much but there is that sort of feeling.... the moment i see him it's like all the memories flash through my mind.... oh gosh.... and worse still... we din tok.... since i came back to indo till now... we din tok much.... he tot tat i was angry cos he din reply my letter and sms.... but i wasnt... i have got no right to be angry with him.... but wat make things worse is tat he actually wanted to ask one of my gd frd in the office to apologise on the behalf of him! he is old enought to know tat if he think tat he is really at fault.... he shld be sincere and apologise himself! old enough to live on his own but yet having such childish and idiotic mindset.... my family problems and him.... just this 2 things are enough to make me go crazy...... i am already almost going crazy....
last but not least i want to add on to weixin's blog.... pls pls pls! tat sebastian idiotic guy..... u are married and u want to have sex with another girl just becos she ask u to do so... have ever tot of ur wife who is waiting for u at home??? ever tot of wat will happen if she founds out??? do u think she will forgive u??? not many females have such a big heart..... pls be mature as u shld be cos u are old enough to be a daddy.... proof tat u can be a gd daddy.... i believe every children in the world will want a happy family and not a broken up one..... if u really still continue having sex with other girls... i only got to say u are a jerk... a jerk who so vanish from this world...
